Love Advice - Fell in love with an escort in Buenos Aires - Is it real love?

[fool in love]

I found this website on Twitter. Amazing forum! I hope you all won't judge me but here goes. I'd love some advice. I went to Buenos Aires and I fell in love with the city. I love everything about it. The night life is insane! I stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel which was over the top nice. I ate so much wonderful food. Everything was very affordable - minus the suite at the hotel which cost a small fortune as I stayed 2 weeks there.

I could use some advice. I am a recently widowed 48 year old male. My wife died of cancer last year after a long battle. I came to Buenos Aires to take my mind off of that. The last few years have been difficult. I asked the concierge at the hotel if he knew of any nightlife and he directed me to some Clubs as well as a few websites. I am not really a night club kind of guy and the Clubs are very very late for me.

But I met up with a girl that I met online. Please don't judge me. We went to dinner and a few dates. To the movies. Besides the first night, I didn't pay her. We have gone to dinner a few times and to a movie. I ended up falling in love with her. Here is the rub. She is an escort. She said she will give up her job but she said normal jobs pay very little. I'm conflicted what to do. Is there a shot at real love meeting a girl this way?

 

[Uncle Wong]

First of all @fool in love I am very sorry for your loss. My mother died of cancer so I know what you are going through. I can't pretend to know what you are going through never being married myself. But I do know about the hurt of losing someone close to cancer.

I would say proceed with caution. I went to some nightclubs and I also met a few locals. It's very sad to see locals struggling. I met a girl that had a normal job working for the government but she makes very little so same kind of situation. But I think a relationship is tough enough in a normal relationship vs. starting off like this. I don't know if you could ever trust her again.

Are you coming back to Buenos Aires? Does she have a visa to visit you in the USA? Will she go there?

 

[Che Vos]

I found this website on Twitter. Amazing forum! I hope you all won't judge me but here goes. I'd love some advice. I went to Buenos Aires and I fell in love with the city. I love everything about it. The night life is insane! I stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel which was over the top nice. I ate so much wonderful food. Everything was very affordable - minus the suite at the hotel which cost a small fortune as I stayed 2 weeks there.

I could use some advice. I am a recently widowed 48 year old male. My wife died of cancer last year after a long battle. I came to Buenos Aires to take my mind off of that. The last few years have been difficult. I asked the concierge at the hotel if he knew of any nightlife and he directed me to some Clubs as well as a few websites. I am not really a night club kind of guy and the Clubs are very very late for me.

But I met up with a girl that I met online. Please don't judge me. We went to dinner and a few dates. To the movies. Besides the first night, I didn't pay her. We have gone to dinner a few times and to a movie. I ended up falling in love with her. Here is the rub. She is an escort. She said she will give up her job but she said normal jobs pay very little. I'm conflicted what to do. Is there a shot at real love meeting a girl this way?

I am very sorry to hear about your wife. That is very sad. I dont think anyone can understand your pain.

For the girl, I don't say it's impossible but very difficult start. But maybe you can find real love. How old is the girl? Does she have a normal job too? I didnt know there website for this. You will see her again? How you leave things with her? She speak English or you speak Spanish?

 

[Betsy Ross]

I found this website on Twitter. Amazing forum! I hope you all won't judge me but here goes. I'd love some advice. I went to Buenos Aires and I fell in love with the city. I love everything about it. The night life is insane! I stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel which was over the top nice. I ate so much wonderful food. Everything was very affordable - minus the suite at the hotel which cost a small fortune as I stayed 2 weeks there.

I could use some advice. I am a recently widowed 48 year old male. My wife died of cancer last year after a long battle. I came to Buenos Aires to take my mind off of that. The last few years have been difficult. I asked the concierge at the hotel if he knew of any nightlife and he directed me to some Clubs as well as a few websites. I am not really a night club kind of guy and the Clubs are very very late for me.

But I met up with a girl that I met online. Please don't judge me. We went to dinner and a few dates. To the movies. Besides the first night, I didn't pay her. We have gone to dinner a few times and to a movie. I ended up falling in love with her. Here is the rub. She is an escort. She said she will give up her job but she said normal jobs pay very little. I'm conflicted what to do. Is there a shot at real love meeting a girl this way?

I'm really sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through as my first husband died as well. It's very difficult especially if they were ill for years. Sometimes after a loss you have too many emotions going through. I would just advise you really try to be rational and think things through. I'm not saying true love is not possible. I don't judge anyone at all.

In this day and age when people are just hooking up on Apps it's hard to say what is right or wrong. I know some people are just looking for someone to love them and take care of them. I would see if you really have genuine interests and I'm not sure what the age difference is or maybe that doesn't matter.

Just think things through and maybe also talk to a therapist about your loss. I had to do that and it really helped.

 

[Vince]

@fool in love sorry to hear about your wife. No judgement at all. I think as long as you both are really honest about things. I don't know her story and I don't know yours other than what you wrote about. Death is difficult to deal with. I agree maybe a good idea to see a therapist and talk things through.

Good luck.

 

[Spend Thrift]

I found this website on Twitter. Amazing forum! I hope you all won't judge me but here goes. I'd love some advice. I went to Buenos Aires and I fell in love with the city. I love everything about it. The night life is insane! I stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel which was over the top nice. I ate so much wonderful food. Everything was very affordable - minus the suite at the hotel which cost a small fortune as I stayed 2 weeks there.

I could use some advice. I am a recently widowed 48 year old male. My wife died of cancer last year after a long battle. I came to Buenos Aires to take my mind off of that. The last few years have been difficult. I asked the concierge at the hotel if he knew of any nightlife and he directed me to some Clubs as well as a few websites. I am not really a night club kind of guy and the Clubs are very very late for me.

But I met up with a girl that I met online. Please don't judge me. We went to dinner and a few dates. To the movies. Besides the first night, I didn't pay her. We have gone to dinner a few times and to a movie. I ended up falling in love with her. Here is the rub. She is an escort. She said she will give up her job but she said normal jobs pay very little. I'm conflicted what to do. Is there a shot at real love meeting a girl this way?

Sorry about your wife. That's tough.

NO on the love. You may think it's love but it's not. I've been there and done that a few times. I fell in love with some male escorts a few times. They told me it was love and I tricked myself into thinking it was love. I've done the whole put them on the payroll thingy. Does she have any other profession? If not, then RUN!

 

[God]

Moderator Note: We moved this thread from the Men's Section to the Love Life & Dating Section.

 

[Wally]

@fool in love . Sorry about your wife. Love is tough enough without all the added drama. I'd say think with your big head instead of the little head.

 

[fool in love]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful posts and condolences about my wife, Beth. It's been a tough few years but I finally felt something but grief.

To answer your questions my Novia is 33 years old so I think age appropriate although several years my junior she carries herself well. She is a university graduate and educated and fluent in English. I don't speak Spanish at all. Although I did find her on an escort website, for our first date we just went to dinner and she came to my hotel and we talked for hours. We didn't have sex but I don't know that it matters. I know it's more the question how I met her.

She admitted it was due to the poor economy and she had come on hard times. She has a normal job and works at the courthouse - Tribunales. I am normally a very private person but I can't ask advice to my friends as I don't want to admit how we met. Also, my girlfriend doesn't want anyone to know. Really, no one would find out but I know and I am conflicted about how we met. I did pay her for the first night but we went out 4 more times and she refused to take any money.

She does have a visa to come to the USA and is planning to visit me next month. We have great chemistry and I feel like it's a true connection. She immediately removed her profile from the escort website that I found her on. She never asked for financial assistance but I did offer to help her. She only makes about $685 USD per month. That isn't enough to survive on. I can't understand how someone with a college degree can make so little but such is life in Argentina. She has no family that can support her and doing it all on her own.

I think the suggestion of a therapist is a good one. Thanks to all of you for not judging me.

 

[Aussieland]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful posts and condolences about my wife, Beth. It's been a tough few years but I finally felt something but grief.

To answer your questions my Novia is 33 years old so I think age appropriate although several years my junior she carries herself well. She is a university graduate and educated and fluent in English. I don't speak Spanish at all. Although I did find her on an escort website, for our first date we just went to dinner and she came to my hotel and we talked for hours. We didn't have sex but I don't know that it matters. I know it's more the question how I met her.

She admitted it was due to the poor economy and she had come on hard times. She has a normal job and works at the courthouse - Tribunales. I am normally a very private person but I can't ask advice to my friends as I don't want to admit how we met. Also, my girlfriend doesn't want anyone to know. Really, no one would find out but I know and I am conflicted about how we met. I did pay her for the first night but we went out 4 more times and she refused to take any money.

She does have a visa to come to the USA and is planning to visit me next month. We have great chemistry and I feel like it's a true connection. She immediately removed her profile from the escort website that I found her on. She never asked for financial assistance but I did offer to help her. She only makes about $685 USD per month. That isn't enough to survive on. I can't understand how someone with a college degree can make so little but such is life in Argentina. She has no family that can support her and doing it all on her own.

I think the suggestion of a therapist is a good one. Thanks to all of you for not judging me.

Wow. Sorry about your spouse. Tough situation all around but in the end I think love can happen this way. What do you have to lose? Try it and see.

 

[FuturoBA]

Sorry about your wife and condolences. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. Best advice I can say is proceed with caution. Two weeks isn't love, its infatuation, irregardless of how you met her. It's easy to act one way for a short time, see how she keeps it up. Don't know her situation nor if she was dealt a bad hand and she did what she felt she had to, but the most important thing is protect yourself first. Especially now as you sound to be in a very vulnerable spot. Good luck.

 

[Bharat]

My deepest condolences for your loss. Take things slow. I never judge anyone as you don't know someone's experiences or led them to do what they do. I met many wonderful people while in Argentina. I heard some sad stories with the economy. I think it very good that she is working and has a normal job. That tells me she just is going through tough time. I also give her another + for being educated and speaking English.

I don't judge anyone and what you do as consenting adults is ok. You sound like you went through tough time so just be careful with your heart. Take it slow and get to know her. She is younger but in many country there an age gap so nothing wrong with that. I also give her another + for quitting her job. I also think it's ok that you helped her if you can afford it.

 

[Avocado]

I'm very sorry about your loss. However, the relationship will NEVER work out. Shame on the girl. She is educated and still sunk so low to have to do that. There is no excuse and a woman must respect herself. You will never respect her and will always remember how you met her. If you want to help her that is nice but don't expect to find true love. No relationship can work out this way.

 

[James Bond]

I'm very sorry about your loss. However, the relationship will NEVER work out. Shame on the girl. She is educated and still sunk so low to have to do that. There is no excuse and a woman must respect herself. You will never respect her and will always remember how you met her. If you want to help her that is nice but don't expect to find true love. No relationship can work out this way.

How dare you judge anyone! You are the one talking about how desperate locals will become and resort to crime. Never judge anyone. My rule in life is if you're not hurting yourself or hurting someone else then no one can judge you. You can find love in many non-traditional ways. Sex is just sex. At the end of a day she is just a girl standing in front of a man, just wanting to be loved.

 

[fool in love]

Sorry about your wife and condolences. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. Best advice I can say is proceed with caution. Two weeks isn't love, its infatuation, irregardless of how you met her. It's easy to act one way for a short time, see how she keeps it up. Don't know her situation nor if she was dealt a bad hand and she did what she felt she had to, but the most important thing is protect yourself first. Especially now as you sound to be in a very vulnerable spot. Good luck.

Thank you. Yes, I am proceeding with caution. I just don't have anyone to talk about this. I can't talk with my friends or family about this. I will slowly approach this and she is coming next month to meet some friends. I told them we met in Buenos Aires and my friends are happy for me. I have much in common with the girl as I am an attorney. She is actually very intelligent, kind, funny and good natured. We have much in common.

I do know that it is a big hurdle to get over how we met. She only did it for 1 month and only out of desperation. I can afford it and even if nothing comes of the relationship I will help her out financially. She refused but I insisted as it isn't much for me. I told her I would match her salary which is not so much money for me.

Yes, I'm vulnerable but she never asked for any of this and not trying to take advantage of the situation.

My condolences. I lost my wife 15+ years ago. I know what you're going through. Me personally never got married again and don't care to. But I will be honest that once my wife passed I traveled around the world. I spent a lot of time in Brazil. Went to many termas. I even ran into Justin Bieber twice about 10 years ago. I saw him 2 days in a row. Nice guy and we chatted in the locker room. I was shocked to see him there!

I never judge and sex isn't that big of a deal. Take the advice to take things slow. You don't have to figure everything out now. It's a good idea to get to know her like you are doing.

How long did she say she was an escort? I imagine times are very tough here. I'd guess there are more girls doing that than people are aware. Buenos Aires used to be full of clubs and they mostly cleaned then up. Now there are a few. I never judge anyone's situation.

Talk to a therapist about your loss and maybe even about this situation with your new friend. Bravo for having the courage to ask advice to people. Good luck with your novia.

Justin Bieber. Wow. What is a terma? I've never been to Brazil before. I will look online. She was only an escort for 1 month. She is a very nice girl. She said she only see a client 2 times a week just to pay bills and rent and buy food. I went to her apartment and she has a simple life.

I will take advice to go to a therapist. It's a good idea to talk to someone. I feel better talking about it with you all. Thank you. It's a big help. This is the most difficult time of my life. But I finally feel happy and at first I felt a little guilty for feeling joy. But now I don't feel guilty.

 

[Starfish]

My condolences. I lost my wife 15+ years ago. I know what you're going through. Me personally never got married again and don't care to. But I will be honest that once my wife passed I traveled around the world. I spent a lot of time in Brazil. Went to many termas. I even ran into Justin Bieber twice about 10 years ago. I saw him 2 days in a row. Nice guy and we chatted in the locker room. I was shocked to see him there!

I never judge and sex isn't that big of a deal. Take the advice to take things slow. You don't have to figure everything out now. It's a good idea to get to know her like you are doing.

How long did she say she was an escort? I imagine times are very tough here. I'd guess there are more girls doing that than people are aware. Buenos Aires used to be full of clubs and they mostly cleaned then up. Now there are a few. I never judge anyone's situation.

Talk to a therapist about your loss and maybe even about this situation with your new friend. Bravo for having the courage to ask advice to people. Good luck with your novia.

You weren't kidding! I thought it was a joke but I just saw this online!

Rio de Janeiro’s Termas Centaurus: Justin Bieber’s Alleged Brothel

Who’s that sneaking out of Rio’s most popular (and expensive) brothel?

www.thedailybeast.com

@fool in love I am very sorry for your loss. Have fun! You only live once!

 

[earlyretirement]

I found this website on Twitter. Amazing forum! I hope you all won't judge me but here goes. I'd love some advice. I went to Buenos Aires and I fell in love with the city. I love everything about it. The night life is insane! I stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel which was over the top nice. I ate so much wonderful food. Everything was very affordable - minus the suite at the hotel which cost a small fortune as I stayed 2 weeks there.

I could use some advice. I am a recently widowed 48 year old male. My wife died of cancer last year after a long battle. I came to Buenos Aires to take my mind off of that. The last few years have been difficult. I asked the concierge at the hotel if he knew of any nightlife and he directed me to some Clubs as well as a few websites. I am not really a night club kind of guy and the Clubs are very very late for me.

But I met up with a girl that I met online. Please don't judge me. We went to dinner and a few dates. To the movies. Besides the first night, I didn't pay her. We have gone to dinner a few times and to a movie. I ended up falling in love with her. Here is the rub. She is an escort. She said she will give up her job but she said normal jobs pay very little. I'm conflicted what to do. Is there a shot at real love meeting a girl this way?

First of all @fool in love, I'm deeply sorry about the loss of your wife. That is never easy. Recently I lost some dear friends as well as my mother died last year. I can't imagine what you are going through.

Thanks for having the courage to post on this forum and ask for advice. I've always believed that sometimes the best advice can come from complete strangers online. I agree with the others to take things slow. There is no rush at all to decide if this is love or not. I think it's wonderful that you are helping out your new friend. I believe that all relationships whether they are romantic or not have to start out with a friendship. I don't think it's any different in this situation with your new "novia". I don't think you have to put a label on things and don't rush to make her your girlfriend.

I admire that you are helping her out financially. Many times in my life I have helped people out. For no other reason to just be a good human being. You're doing that. Just always be honest with yourself and your relationship. Any good relationship needs good communication so I'd recommend you have good communication and just both of you always be honest with yourselves.

Don't let anyone try to tell you what IS or isn't possible. I think it's great that she never asked you for anything and refused to take money after you got to know her. It doesn't sound like she is asking for financial assistance. And a huge plus she is educated and has a job.

Take things slow. I think it's everyone is giving you good advice to see a therapist. I will send you a DM if you need a good recommendation for someone to talk to. I wish you the best of luck with your new friend.

 

[Old Geezer]

So sorry for your loss. Tough time and I agree to take things slow. Finding love takes more than 2 weeks but see where it goes. Good luck!

 

[Bill]

Ignore the haters. Go for it! You have nothing to lose. I've fallen in love many times. Although keep in mind I have been divorced 4 times! No joke. Each one was fun and I wouldn't have changed a thing! Go for it!

 

[LongIslander]

Tough call. I think you will always consider how you met. I did this same thing once in Brazil. BEST sex of my life but I never could forget how I met her. Good luck my friend.